Yesterday, a man in a shirt declaring him “World’s Best Grandpa” stared at me as if I had on a shirt that said “World’s Most Delectable Piece of Meat”. He even had the nerve to have his mouth half open as if in a private moment of ecstasy. I wanted to tell him, “No salivating”, but I didn’t have the time to engage him in conversation – I was in a hurry to complete my woman errands.

Yesterday, a pigeon decided to unceremoniously use me as a toilet again. Contrary to popular belief, I feel decidedly unlucky.

Tomorrow, I am going to a wedding. I haven’t been to a wedding since…when I remember, I’ll let you guys know. I’m happy that in the midst of all my therapy shopping, somewhere along the way I remembered that there would be invitations to events that required something slightly more appropriate than my standard freak em’ dress. I don’t want to outshine the bride so I’m gonna refrain from pulling out my ballroom gown and stick to a LBD and some 5 inch heels that will hurt my feet as soon as I think about putting them on – ahh, the joys of being a woman…